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He’s Just Not That Into You -- The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

We’ve all done it – made the quick dash to the basement, tossed the laundry in the dryer, zoomed back and checked the phone. Instead of “one new message” the digital display reads “Nextel 10:19 p.m.”
    What were we expecting? That call from “him,” the one he said he’d make.
    We know we shouldn’t wait – our girlfriends tell us not to and worse, our mothers concur. But we’ve done it for years and we may continue to do it unless we heed some good advice – from a man.
    Greg Behrendt, consultant for “Sex and the City” and co-author of He’s Just Not That Into You -- The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys advises if he doesn’t call, he’s “an asshole” if he treats you poorly, he’s not worth your time. Don’t waste your “pretty” on him. Find someone else.
    Easier said than done? Maybe. But read the book, ladies. It gets easier.
    While the material may be geared toward single women looking for a long-term relationship, the advice is applicable to any woman interested in just dating. The married gal still pondering what went wrong in a previous relationship may also find closure.
    What every woman should get is the feeling of empowerment from this fun and easy to read book.
    Rather than just sharing his frank male insights with just family and friends, Behrendt, who is married and a self proclaimed reformed “bad boy,” paired with Liz Tuccillo, a single 42-year-old executive story editor for Sex and the City to pen the tome.
    In his introduction, Behrendt explained the idea for the book followed yet another female co-worker’s request for his opinion on relationships. She asked why her boyfriend waited an entire week to contact her after a date via e-mail and asked why he hasn’t heard from her. Behrendt cursed himself on the inside before blurting the truth, “He’s just not that into you.”
    Being an inquisitive woman like the rest of us, the co-worker asked, what does “he’s just not that into you” mean? It’s what it doesn’t mean that is more important, Behrendt explains. You are not an awful person, you’ve done nothing wrong and you are good enough, too good for him.
    The simple truth is he’s just not that interested and can’t be honest enough to tell you.
    “We would rather lose an arm out a city bus than tell you simply, `you’re not the one,’” he wrote.
    Why “he’s just not that into you,” ranging from “If He’s Not Calling,” “He Only Wants to Sex You When He’s Drunk,” to “He’s a Selfish Jerk, a Bully or a Really Big Freak” is explored in each chapter. Behrendt responds in advice column format and summarizes his answer in “It’s so simple.” Tuccillo pipes in next by sharing the woman’s perspective in “Here’s Why This One is Hard.”
    Behrendt and Tuccillo take turns writing the “This Is What It Should Look Like” opinion explaining how a man who’s “into you” would act.
    In further chapters, letter writers discuss the reactions they received from men after applying the advice offered by the authors.
    Like any good learning tool, the book includes homework. “Our Super Good Really Helpful Workbook” helps women evaluate their responses to men and encourages them to change their reactions in the future.
    To ensure the reader got the point, the authors included a “What Should You Have Learned In This Chapter” summary.
    Does the book work in today’s dating world? You betcha!
    The sense of empowerment in knowing and accepting that “he’s just not that into you” should be reward enough. Realizing and telling a man you’re just not into him is even better. And best is telling the guy at the bar that he has 48 hours to use the phone number you handed him. Who cares if he calls. He probably wouldn’t anyway, but it’s a heck of a lot of fun saying it

Debra Pascoe is a freelance writer from Sterling Heights still looking for a man without control issues who calls, treats her like a goddess and sends flowers. Look for her yet to be released book on all the jerks she dated in pursuit of “the one” who’s “into” her. Batteries not included.

    We’ve all done it – made the quick dash to the basement, tossed the laundry in the dryer, zoomed back and checked the phone. Instead of “one new message” the digital display reads “Nextel 10:19 p.m.”
    What were we expecting? That call from “him,” the one he said he’d make.
    We know we shouldn’t wait – our girlfriends tell us not to and worse, our mothers concur. But we’ve done it for years and we may continue to do it unless we heed some good advice – from a man.
    Greg Behrendt, consultant for “Sex and the City” and co-author of He’s Just Not That Into You -- The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys advises if he doesn’t call, he’s “an asshole” if he treats you poorly, he’s not worth your time. Don’t waste your “pretty” on him. Find someone else.
    Easier said than done? Maybe. But read the book, ladies. It gets easier.
    While the material may be geared toward single women looking for a long-term relationship, the advice is applicable to any woman interested in just dating. The married gal still pondering what went wrong in a previous relationship may also find closure.
    What every woman should get is the feeling of empowerment from this fun and easy to read book.
    Rather than just sharing his frank male insights with just family and friends, Behrendt, who is married and a self proclaimed reformed “bad boy,” paired with Liz Tuccillo, a single 42-year-old executive story editor for Sex and the City to pen the tome.
    In his introduction, Behrendt explained the idea for the book followed yet another female co-worker’s request for his opinion on relationships. She asked why her boyfriend waited an entire week to contact her after a date via e-mail and asked why he hasn’t heard from her. Behrendt cursed himself on the inside before blurting the truth, “He’s just not that into you.”
    Being an inquisitive woman like the rest of us, the co-worker asked, what does “he’s just not that into you” mean? It’s what it doesn’t mean that is more important, Behrendt explains. You are not an awful person, you’ve done nothing wrong and you are good enough, too good for him.
    The simple truth is he’s just not that interested and can’t be honest enough to tell you.
    “We would rather lose an arm out a city bus than tell you simply, `you’re not the one,’” he wrote.
    Why “he’s just not that into you,” ranging from “If He’s Not Calling,” “He Only Wants to Sex You When He’s Drunk,” to “He’s a Selfish Jerk, a Bully or a Really Big Freak” is explored in each chapter. Behrendt responds in advice column format and summarizes his answer in “It’s so simple.” Tuccillo pipes in next by sharing the woman’s perspective in “Here’s Why This One is Hard.”
    Behrendt and Tuccillo take turns writing the “This Is What It Should Look Like” opinion explaining how a man who’s “into you” would act.
    In further chapters, letter writers discuss the reactions they received from men after applying the advice offered by the authors.
    Like any good learning tool, the book includes homework. “Our Super Good Really Helpful Workbook” helps women evaluate their responses to men and encourages them to change their reactions in the future.
    To ensure the reader got the point, the authors included a “What Should You Have Learned In This Chapter” summary.
    Does the book work in today’s dating world? You betcha!
    The sense of empowerment in knowing and accepting that “he’s just not that into you” should be reward enough. Realizing and telling a man you’re just not into him is even better. And best is telling the guy at the bar that he has 48 hours to use the phone number you handed him. Who cares if he calls. He probably wouldn’t anyway, but it’s a heck of a lot of fun saying it

Debra Pascoe is a freelance writer from Sterling Heights still looking for a man without control issues who calls, treats her like a goddess and sends flowers. Look for her yet to be released book on all the jerks she dated in pursuit of “the one” who’s “into” her. Batteries not included.