Yes, it’s true – your parents are probably still having sex.
    So says marital and sex therapist Sallie Foley, author of Sex & Love for Grownups: A No-Nonsense Guide to a Life of Passion, a guide for adults 40 and older.
    Culled from her AARP magazine column “Modern Love,” the book showcases the author’s wit, wisdom and frankness in answers to real questions from real people.
    Married for 28 years with three grown children and more than 20 years’ experience as a therapist, Foley knows her topic well.
    She is most pleased to report communication among couples has improved “enormously,” thanks to what she calls our “economically driven society.” When both partners work, she said, they explore individual skills to keep the home fires burning – both in and outside the bedroom.
    “Couples have to discuss who’s going to do what, and now they even discuss what kind of affection and intimacy is needed in the marriage,” she said.
    Many couples have turned to cyberspace looking for information about marriage and intimacy issues. If nothing else, they learn they are not alone and help is available.
    Cyberspace can also have devastating affects on a relationship, she said. For some couples, problems result from ready access to pornography. Others become concerned about their partner’s e-relationships with members of the opposite sex.
    Foley said couples – married or single – must tell their partners what they need, be it additional support around the house or extra attention in bed.
    Foley offers the following advice to those considering getting back on the proverbial horse:
    • Take inventory: What do you want out of dating – fun? Heart-stopping romance? Adventure?
    • Compile a list of acquaintances – not friends – and think about what it would be like to date them.
    • Join a non-gender specific organization.
    • Consider Internet dating. Foley recommends singles visit AARPthemagazine.com, where singles can learn how to write a personal ad and which internet dating websites are safest.
   Foley suggests when writing a profile or while on a date, don’t jeopardize your values and be honest about – and with– yourself.
    And remember; a relationship takes work. But how much?
    “If you feel you are doing 80 percent and your partner also feels he is doing 80 percent, that’s about right. People should feel...that the relationship has meaning and they understand the values of what holds them in the relationship,” Foley said, adding. “Pain, humiliation, degradation and terror should not be equated with work.”
    Foley’s book is available at Barnes and Noble and independent bookstores, at Amazon.com, bn.com and salliefoley.com.

Debra Pascoe is a free-lance writer and editor from Sterling Heights. You can reach her by e-mail.